Appointment with Doctor

Man: Should I have a baby after 35?
 Doctor: No, 35 children is enough.

 Woman: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
 Doctor: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

 Man: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
 Doctor: Childbirth.

Woman: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
Doctor: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. 

Woman: When is the best time to get an epidural? Doctor: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Man: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
Doctor: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Woman: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
Doctor: Yes, pregnancy.

Woman: Do I have to have a baby shower?
 Doctor: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Man: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
Doctor: When the kids are in college.